This is the gift of 30: taking steps to abandon the infantilizing position of simply "student" rather than researcher and writer. Valuing my own expertise, and being honest about what the skills I'm happy to share are. Moving beyond the insecurities of my 20s & being thankful for the next steps in my career, as well as the new uncertainties that this decade brings.
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This fall, I'm trying to be more deliberate with my time, since so little of it can be dedicated to the various aspects of my life beyond my full-time job. I'm taking weekends for myself (mostly--though workdays, my primary time for fieldwork, takes place during my daughter's Saturday nap time), doing one thing at a time more regularly, and using more university resources to my advantage.
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There are times when the universe seems to weigh us down with a message--a piercing note like the buzz of electricity, driving into our brains until we are forced to acknowledge it, forced to give it space so we can think again. Can catch our breath. Four moments made the buzzing so loud I've been forced to face the expectations I still carry out on my own body. Expectations I wear like a (appropriately modest) dress.
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