This semester, I needed quiet. I needed to let go of all nonessential tasks. I spent the first 20 weeks of my pregnancy rather sick, struggling to stay afloat in my course load. It was a struggle, & my department has handled the news with more compassion, support, & excitement than I ever could have anticipated. Academia isn't historically a female-friendly (let alone parent-friendly) environment. And that's among faculty. Add in the still present dynamic in many department of infantilizing graduate students, & the idea of a "student" having a child seems preposterous. We are often seen, through the student label, as children ourselves."
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It is 8:55 on Dec 31, 2014, and I am wearing the fleece leggings I've had on since I went to bed last night. After travel, marathon cleaning, and a good dose of dealing with piles of our personal life, we called off all plans for New Year's Eve and decided to stay in. I've spent the evening lesson planning (and eating celebratory pizza) and reading Amy Poehler's Yes Please. This--mostly the greasy pizza hands--has all given me a long moment to reflect on 2014 and plan for my 2015 resolutions. While I've already promised myself loads of things will be different in my personal life--and while I've also already admitted that I'll forget about or break those promises by Jan. 7--it seems a good time to decide how, as a graduate student & writer, I would like to dedicate my time this year. A few things came to mind.
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As a woman in academia, I feel like I need to push harder, write deeper, speak louder than men. Not to prove myself or to convince men I've earned it, but to remind other young women that I'm here--that this is also our space, and that our dissent, our non neutrality, and our perspective are powerful. For that reason, I am making a point of counting myself. I am a woman academician.
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